“That” time of day…

 

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     There are many times during my day I daydream it is later in then it is and it’s time to start the bedtime routine. This isn’t because I don’t enjoy spending time with my children or that it is a a burden. No, it is because I long for that time when I can be myself. I’m not “Mom” and sometimes not even “The Wife” and I can sit with my journal and a cup of tea and have my own thoughts and take the time for myself that I am desperate for throughout the day.

The true curse of Motherhood that no one tells you about before you become a parent is, guilt. The guilt of doing anything for yourself. Whether it is shopping without your child or children and you dare buy something for yourself to that glass of wine at the end of the day and the deep breath of relief it has come to an end.

For me, that cup of tea and cheeky piece of chocolate I covet are my salvation. My time to gear myself to start again tomorrow. I am blessed my children are older now and sleep throughout the night giving me more time then most. So to my fellow mothers-in-arms still doing night feeds or raising difficult sleepers,  I raise my cup of tea and piece of chocolate to you and wish you well tonight and may your time to yourself come when you need it the most.

The Summer Holidays, a Reminder I can survive!

lego-708088__180It’s that time again, weeks alone day in and day out with my children. Yes, they are a gift. Yes, I love them dearly. Yes, I am blessed. Blah Blah Blah…

I am a mother, of course I think and feel those things but I’m also incredibly exhausted. Just dealing with the children and work on a daily basis is difficult but now that I’m finished work for the summer and I have two children too keep entertained all summer and on a budget no less!

Patience, is not my forte. It is a daily struggle to keep myself together. With the routine of school gone my two will find every little thing to argue about and when those few and far between moments come along where they play nicely, I have a cuppa and take a breath.

My children live with routine. School, swimming, activities, homework, and visits etc… Summer holidays brings around the unknown therefore they struggle. I try to fill the days with play-dates, treats out, and fun but there are those days where I just do not want to leave the house. films, video-games, and play-doh come out or anything else to keep them occupied and give myself a break.

It’s a difficult job, Motherhood. I got through last summer and I will survive this one. Come September with the return to school and my return to work I’m sure I’ll be wishing for half-term.

But, at least that is for only a week!

The Dreaded School Run

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I can’t be the only parent who dreads the school run everyday.  I don’t mean the actual physicality of it but the constant dealings with others. I for one, dread it. For an introvert, the school run it almost a painful experience.

It’s not that I dislike people, I just struggle with the banality of it all.

As a parent your ability to navigate the school playground is essential in growing their own social circles. We are the ones who arrange the after school play dates and with which children. Being friendly and approachable is a necessary evil. Honestly, I don’t hate it but it really is just the daily grind of it that causes these feelings of monotony and angst.

I’ve made some lovely friends on that playground as have my children, so though I would like to hide behind my book or this keyboard I will be there again tomorrow. See you there.

Dealing with a Sensitive child….it takes it’s toll.

portrayal-89189_640Being a mother doesn’t automatically give you an infinite amount of patience, though it would make life so much easier!

My eight year old son is a sensitive child. He is empathetic to the point of tears when worried about others. He is too emotionally mature for his age and I’m told by his Doctor, Counselor and others that he’ll “grow into it”.  What do I do until then!? When he has, what I call and “episode”, they do not only affect him. I find talking him down and bring him back to reality very exhausting.

My son suffers from some anxiety and a side effect of this is his his over-sensitivities. He is so lovely in the sense he thinks of others always before himself but there is also an irrationality to it at times that can be difficult those the one trying to calm him.

As a parent you want nothing more then to take your child’s pain and frustration away but teaching them to deal with this is a learning curve not only for the child but for the parent. I use the advice given to me, I use the tools they have provided to help calm him, teach him to learn now to deal with his fears and worries himself but they do nothing to teach you with the aftermath.

You feel tired and lost. You feel like you are doing the wrong thing all the time. Parent-hood, not what it was on the brochure eh?

A bit about me….Ramblings of a Deconstructed Mum

crazy-momThese are the random thoughts of a Mother who has deconstructed herself into so  many rolls sometimes she can even forget who she was before the blessings of her two children came into her life.

Becoming a mother changes you indefinitely. You become so many things you couldn’t have prepared for or have known you could do. It can be difficult, it can be amazing, and it can also be incredibly lonely.

I chose the name Deconstructed Mum to show that the role of a Mother is so many things and different for each of us. I’m a mother of two. My eight year old son and six year old daughter. Some of my roles in motherhood are: taxi, personal cook, counsellor, cleaner, seamstress, teacher, and referee just to name a few.  In these posts are my own thoughts, those of others I’ve taken an interest in and maybe yours.

Welcome to the chaos that is Motherhood.